You are validated and loved

Where do you look for validation?

We look to people for validation. That is the primary reason social medial is a success. In general, people are not qualified to provide validation, they are also broken. However, parents have been given authority to validate their children. As parents, influence has been given to ignite and not extinguish. This is what our heavenly Father wants to do for us, ignite and validate us. Jesus is our validator. We are validated and loved. Self-validation can be learned. Are you allowing others to validate your life?

Jesus was misunderstood and rejected by those whom the world considered wise and great. He was put to death by great leaders, both religious and political. In 1 Corinthians 2: 7-8 (MSG) Paul writes, “God’s wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of His purposes. You do not find it lying around the surface. It is not the latest message, but more like the oldest; what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. 8. The experts hadn’t a clue about this eternal plan. If they had, they wouldn’t have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross.” 

The Life Application Bible (LAB) explains this passage of God’s hidden wisdom as His offer of salvation to all people. This became clear when Jesus rose from the dead. His resurrection proved that he had power over sin and death and could now offer this power to us as well. God validated us before the foundation of the world. His plan is still hidden from people who do not believe; either by choice, acceptance refusal or simply being unaware. Jesus did not accept validation or wisdom from the experts when He walked the Earth. Our Heavenly Father validates Jesus and Jesus validates us.

The Way of Love

In a devotional examining 1 Corinthians 13, which speaks about the way of Love. In this particular commentary Rev. Laura O. White, totally caught me off guard. She spoke on how we should love and forgive ourselves. Further, we cannot love ourselves if we do not deem ourselves worthy. She continues, advising how we must explore the beauty, fulfillment and purity of loyalty, for an inward love and self-forgiveness. She Implores us to “Reconcile a new inward love with the same love and forgiveness that we are called to activate for others.” She asks, “How pure and honest is the love we have for ourselves?”

In her commentary she begins showing how we overthink and over process situations. We have all heard the cliché that we are our own worse critics. Being overly self-critical interferes with self-validation. It is difficult to love others with a 1 Corinthians 13 love, if we do not give ourselves grace for self-love. Our Heavenly Father loves and validates us. We are also worthy of self-validation. We can live in humility and self-validation. Father, please grant us the gift of internal love. Jesus we accept your perfect validation and love.

Self-Love and validation

Self-love and validation are not conceit or self-importance. Notice the first three letters of conceit. In conceit we persuade ourselves that we are important. The prefix con means with or thoroughly; meticulously convincing ourselves that we are better than others, without substantiation. Self-validation however, is “The feeling of having recognized, confirmed or established one’s own worthiness or legitimacy.”  Merriam Webster. Example: it is okay that I declined that offer, I had valid concerns about the contract. I feel good about the effort required in completing the project today. Self-validation takes practice.

According to Psychology Today, self-validation is the act of accepting our own internal experience, including our thoughts and feelings. Self-validation includes:

• Encouraging ourselves
• Acknowledging our strengths and efforts
• Noticing and accepting our feelings
• Prioritizing our needs
• Treating ourselves with kindness
• Saying nice things to ourselves
• Accepting our limitations or mistakes

How to validate yourself

Self-validation is a skill that takes practice. To begin, try to do or say at least one self-validating thing per day (see ideas below) and then, strive for two. With practice, it will become second-nature to validate yourself and as you get better at validating yourself, you’ll seek less external validation and you’ll have less tolerance for people invalidating you, too. https://psychcentral.com/authors/sharon-martin-lcsw

Notice how you feel and what you need.

• Accept your feelings and needs without judgment.

Example: It’s okay to feel angry. Anyone would feel angry in this situation. Taking time alone will help me sort out my feelings. 

Don’t over-identify with your feelings. We want to accept our feelings and also remember that they don’t define us. Notice the subtle, but important, difference when you say,

•  I feel angry vs. I am angry. 

Our feelings are temporary they come and go. Remember, practice is an important part of learning self-validation! https://psychcentral.com/authors/sharon-martin-lcsw. Remember that you are validated and loved by your creator and He wants you to be self-validated also.